Life as it happens...

Everyday I wonder what is going to happen with this world.. Will it just magically blow up? Or slowly turn on it's axis until it falls off?

I see everyday someone else hurting. Maybe it is from their choices. Or it was because someone else did not stop and think? Either way, it makes me want to just stay in my house a little more each day.

I have so many friends that I love dearly and just wonder what in the hell they are thinking. Or are they thinking? They jump from relationship to relationship without healing time or even hesitation. How do you love someone else when you don't take the time to love yourself?

Now, I can not say anything about marriage and how long you should date someone before making that commitment. But what I can say is this, make sure you really know them. Make sure you really want it to be forever. Don't marry someone because it makes them happy. Marry them because it makes you both happy. Stop and imagine your life without them 1, 5, 12 years down the road. Can you? Jim and I were only together for a few months when we got married. But we have outlasted some of the stronger marriages I know already.

But I just see it over and over and over. Most of them have relationships before they even start divorces. What does that say about the future of that relationship? It says that they have no qualms about moving on before they have even attempted to fix what is there.

And good lord, stop and look at your children and how you are affecting them. Or your friends children when you come over and criticize the person you brought into their lives and then turned around and told them that they won't be around anymore. It's not right to take that leap with someone, and then expect everyone else to hate them. Because chances are that you messed things up as well but haven't told the entire truth.

My Mom always told me two things..It takes two to tango and if your gut says they have cheated then it's probably true.

So people stop and smell the roses. Life is not that bad when you are alone. Life is entirely what you make of it. Take it, mold it and live it.

Troubles...

In paradise. I am watching all my friends marriages around me slowly crumble to the ground. It's frustrating to see, and the problems they are having really are not as big as they make them seem. But such is life, right?

I'm tired tonight..the boys have a picture appointment tomorrow so we all need some beauty sleep...:)

Nighty!

Ugh! Sleep already!!

It's been a hectic past two days so far. I've been really working hard on the weight loss thing. I took Squeaky for a walk yesterday while the weather was nicer. It was nice. We walked a little over a mile..I swear the whole walk was uphill the entire distance. So today my calves and thighs are killing me. So I will work out my waist area and arms.

I've ventured into a fun endeavor here recently. Today I went out in the misty rain and saw Trinity Church out in Brooklyn. It was creepy and the hair stood up on my arms. Only because of the history of the church. I will investigate more and post pictures for everyone soon.

Right now I am going to go do my workout and then take a hot shower. I have a few things to ponder in my head as well, so expect a big blog tomorrow.

Poor tired baby..

Poor pooped little kid. He has been so busy growing up and bieng a big kid he just couldn't keep his eyes open long enough for dinner. Today he graduated from formula to whole milk. So I am helping his body adjust by doing half and half until we use up the last few cans. It's sad how big he is getting and how quickly. He is definately his Daddy's son.

I'm tired as ever today because for whatever reason last night he woke up every hour or two. And I'm not one who can just fall back to sleep when I am woken up. So I am crabby and really tired now. Just like he is in the picture.

Jim called me today. He will be home here in CT on June 15th. We are still waiting to see what is happening with the new school district Chase will be attending. But it is looking like he will be going to his father's house in early June. And then I start going through and cleaning out what we don't need. Garbage be gone! I will go through each room and probably make about 50 trips or so to the Salvation Army. Just to make sure we don't go over our weight quota.

Ok, I'm going to bed because I just can't think straight.

Updates!

Hi there Everyone~

So here it is, update time! Things are going well for the Meston-Kelley family as we prepare for a new move. This time we are heading FT Leavenworth Kansas! We are all excited about this move because Jim will finally be joining us. And the best part is, he won't be deploying this time! After 4 long years, our family will finally be complete and together! We all know how damn excited that makes me! And especially Chase. I will honestly say that this deployment has been absolutely the hardest on him. But he knows Jim will be home really soon and even has it marked on his calendar. His only disappointment is that he won't be able to see him until he gets back from his father's house for a visit over the summer. But he is looking forward to the trip to the new home. And decorating his new bedroom. And being with little brother again! Chase has really come a long way this year. His academics are still struggling according to what his teacher tells me. But this is against the CT guidelines and from what I personally see he really is not that far off. His biggest challenge is when his father does not work with him over the long summer vacation. It really shows when he comes home to myself. His reading is the challenge. I shared that if he reads at least one book a day for his visit, he should be OK. I even went out and prepared him with workbooks for Math, Reading and a few other subjects. I hope he actually uses them!
Sebastian~ He is by far the clown of the family right now. Littlest man turned one on March 5Th. Then on the 6Th we had his 1 year Dr. Appointment where he received some shots he was not happy about. Not happy at all. Here is the irony of this entire visit. They poked his finger with a lancet and he was fine. They bled the finger until they had a vial halfway full and he was fine. *That blood goes to the state to be tested for lead poisoning.* But when it came time to get the actual shots he fell apart. Two quick pokes and he was done!! But he freaked out until Mommy got him dressed and we started to walk out of the room. And then he was smiling and laughing like nothing ever happened..Bi Polar for Babies? Anyone got a guide? He is a very mellow little guy, but when he gets going..Oh man! Dad is going to be a busy man when he gets home! I keep telling him that..but I think he thinks it will be all smooth...Muahahaha Man does he have a surprise coming! I attached a couple of my favorite pictures of Chase and Sebastian to this email so you guys can see how big they are getting. My babies are not babies anymore. Ugh!

Jim is doing as well as he can right now. He is basically stuck via the Army in Germany until he reports June 10Th to Leavenworth. Our ultimate plan right now is he will take leave a few weeks after he gets there to come to CT and pack up baby and I. This will happen after Chase leaves for his visitation to Oregon. Oregon friends, please keep an eye on him for me. Thank you!! From that point we will have the movers come in, pack up the house and off we will go. We are finally going to take that little honey moon we haven't had. Down the coast through Delaware, Maryland, West Virginia, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Georgia. Up through Tennessee to Graceland. Down through Mississippi and into Louisiana to see the Castillo's! Then back up through Arkansas, Oklahoma and Missouri until we arrive in Leavenworth Kansas! We are planning a couple weeks to do this. I'm really excited about this trip because when it is finished I will only have Hawaii, Alaska, Michigan, Indiana, Wisconsin, Iowa, Nebraska, North and South Dakota and Montana left to visit. And then I will have seen the entire United States. And will have the shot glasses to prove it! Come on Tonia...lol Send my shot glass from Florida...*wink* We are also planning a trip down to Florida as a full family to go to Disneyworld, or maybe we will take a cruise. I'm not sure which one yet. We have not gone into the specifics of that one yet. I'm proud I have been able to travel this much in my life.

Jim has made a few trips cross country as well, but not with kids..lol. Another wonderful surprise for him!

When the time come to pick up Chase from Oregon, the three of us will fly out to pick up the PT Cruiser as well. We have already made a promise to go up and see Reedy at FT Lewis and I am looking forward to that! If we are lucky, Boyd will be there as well so the 3 amigos will be back together again even if only for a little bit! We will pick Chase up and take another road trip to Kansas. This time we will head down through California to spend a day at Universal Studios and maybe Disneyland as well. Or maybe we will take them to Legoland. It's out there too! I'm thinking Legoland would be a lot of fun! Into San Francisco to take Jim to the Wharf...:) Down to El Cajon to see Jim's Uncles who were banished from CT years ago..lol And then across to Arizona to see Jim's Aunt Denise and the Grand Canyon. It will be nice to finally meet her! Maybe up through Utah, across Colorado and into Kansas again to our new home.

And as for myself. I am just looking forward to having my husband home. And going back to college. I am planning to start attending as soon as we get back from picking up Chase. It's high time I get my degree done and start financially contributing to my family. I put a lot into my kids and husband right now with this deployment, but it will be nice to release some of the responsibility to my husband.

And I will continue with what I am doing. A little over a month ago I joined a weight loss challenge here. And I have kicked ass. I'm noticing an hour glass figure slowly coming back, but my biggest thing is I am now down over 10 pounds. Which is a difference in itself when I put my clothes on. And I have more to lose. My ultimate goal is to get back to my pre Chase weight of 150. And you all know me. I am hella determined and will get it done. I applaud Jim as well who is over there in Germany starving to death as he tries to figure out portion sizes as well.

OK, that's pretty much all for right now. I need to go corral and torture my kiddos..

I love you all, and thank each of you individually for the special love and support you have given me over the years. Thank you!!!

Just a quick..

Note to let everyone know we are doing great. Just hectic right now as Squeaky turns the big 1 tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it. I went out today and picked up a small helium tank and am planning a big surprise for the boys in the morning. I will post pictures. I promise. His birthday party itself is on Friday at 5 pm. It will be fun, yet sad at the same time. And there will be more pictures to post then as well.

Ok, off to work out now.

YAY...Mom's Home!

So the last few days have been pretty rough on myself. My Mom was much sicker than we had originally thought so they admitted her to the hospital. To better summarize what happened, here is a copy of the email she sent me *with her permission of course*.


HI EVERYONE,

OK JUST LETTING YOU ALL KNOW ITS BEEN A LONG WEEKEND. AS MOST KNOW, I HAVE BEEN BATTLING HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND BEEN ON UP TO 3 MEDS. TO TREAT IT. APPT. WITH DR. ON THURS REVEALED MY POTASSIUM THRU THE ROOF & B/P OVER 200. I WAS SCHEDULED FOR A BLOOD TEST & ULTRASOUND OF MY KIDNEYS AND UPPER ABDOMINAL ON FRI. AM. GOT CALL FROM DR.. HAD TO BE AT HIS OFFICE AT 3:30 PM.

TESTS FOUND I HAD ONLY 1 KIDNEY FUNCTIONING AT 40 % CAPACITY, THE OTHER HAD ATROPHIED, THERE FOR NOT WORKING AT ALL. I WAS ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY. LUCKY ME! THEY FOUND AFTER TRYING 8 TIMES TO RUN IV IT WASN'T WORKING. MY VEINS WERE NOT COOPERATING & DEHYDRATED. FINALLY A DR. FROM ER TRAUMA UNIT WAS GOING TO PUT IN A PIC. BUT HE WAS ABLE ON 2ND TRY TO GET IV INTO MY NECK, BELOW R EAR. UGG. WHAT FUN I HAD. I NOW DRINK WATER AND I LEAK.

AS YOU ALL KNOW, YOU GET NO REST IN HOSPITAL. THEY GAVE ME LIQUID TO DRINK WHICH CAUSES YOU TO EVACUATE ALL POTASSIUM FROM SYSTEM BY POOPING. WITH IV IN NECK AND HOOKED UP TO DRIP, AND B/P CUP ON ONE ARM, THEY THEN CAME IN AND PUT LITTLE VELCRO PADS ON MY ANKLES AND HOOKED THEM TO AN AIR PUMP, WHICH PUMPS THEM UP ALTERNATELY ONE AT A TIME TO KEEP ME FROM GETTING BLOOD CLOTS IN LEGS. OK NOW HOW IN THE HECK DO THEY EXPECT YOU TO GET TO TOILET. BELIEVE ME, YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO POOP THE BED. OK THE ANKLE PADS WENT. MAJOR JOB JUST TO GO TO TOILET, AND DRAG ALL THAT STUFF WITH YOU. LOL

HAD SURGERY SAT AFTERNOON THE 28TH. THEY PUT STENT INTO RENAL ARTERY GOING FROM STOMACH INTO KIDNEY. SUCH FUN, I HAD TO REMAIN AWAKE THRU IT ALL. ALL WENT WELL. BACK TO ROOM. B/P DROPPED IMMEDIATELY TO 100/68. WAHOO. NO MORE HEADACHE.

WHILE I WAS OUT HAVING SO MUCH FUN, THEY MOVED IN A ROOM MATE. SHE WAS HAVING HALLUCINATIONS. YELLING ABOUT ALIENS, AND TELLING PEOPLE TO GET OUT OF THE ROOM AT THE TOP OF HER VOICE. THIS WENT ON ALL NIGHT. I WAS OFFERED EAR PLUGS, BUT NOT MUCH HELP. WELL I MADE IT THRU NIGHT WITH LITTLE REST. FEELING MUCH BETTER, BUT WEAK I WAS ABLE TO GO HOME ON SUN. MAR. 1ST. HAD A WONDERFUL FULL NIGHT SLEEP AND FEEL GREAT NOW.


Now of course you all know I did not sleep well. I try not to, but I was expecting the worst. I was expecting the call from Dr. C telling me to go to the hospital to get tested as a kidney match. When it comes right down to it, honestly, I would be the only daughter that could donate. My older sister has so many health issues that they wouldn't even look at her. Especially with the heart problems. She wouldn't be able to survive a kidney removal surgery. And the youngest sister has been clean for over 3 years now. But they wouldn't accept her as a donor because of the past usage issues.


But now she is home, sore yet in one piece. And I am happy about it. Worried, but happy. And still prepared. If I get that call, I will move faster than lightning.

Now , onto another subject. It freaking snowed again last night. And I don't mean a little bit. I'm talking *Oh Holy Snow*. Below is a picture of our back porch after I opened the screen door. The snow is so high I scraped it off the top onto the actual porch itself. Ulo, our neighbor had shoveled enough space so Chasers can get out the back porch and down the stairs to play in the back yard. That shows how deep it is. And to step on the back porch from our door it is about a 4 inch step down. Yeah. It snowed a lot here. And I'm sick of it.



OK, I need to get off here now. I have noticed how quiet it is in the other room where the boys are playing.