How do you assist a 15 year old child with learning that his past is just that, his past? How do you teach him that he can no longer just skate through life? That he can no longer run the show and be the boss of the house? How does one teach a child to be a child and learn from his mistakes?
These are all things that Jim and I are really battling right now. REALLY battling! He is failing 5 of his 7 classes right now. He does no homework. He argues with the teachers. He thinks that he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants. Am I frustrated? Yes. Very frustrated! Almost ready to scream frustrated.
Jim and I have decided at this point that we are going to retract our offers of assisting him with getting his license and a car. We really feel like we have no choice in the matter right now. He doesn't want to work at things, we will absolutely not supply goodies for him. If there are suggestions as to how to get through to him, please let me know. Because I don't want him to end up a statistic just like the rest of his brother's and sister.
And that is where he is headed. Trust me. They are doing MAP testing right now at the schools. Sam is testing in at 208 and he is proud of that. Today I learned that he is testing in at a 2nd grade level. And that upset me. I was almost in tears. How could Amory let a child down like this? She let down 5 children, but this is by far the worst I have seen of these children. He is in 9th grade and my 3rd grader is smarter than he is. How unfair is that? Seriously?
OK, as for myself I need to get off here and get my homework done. As soon as I get things squared away, I sink again. So tonight I have a ton of stuff to finish for Saturday class. Yes, you read that correctly. I have school Monday through Saturday.
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3 comments:
Take it day by day. No he doesn't need to drive. He doesn't follow rules, don't put him behind the wheel of a car. Too much responsibility for him.
He needs special schooling. He should never have reached the grade hes in with those scores.
And yes, his mother failed him miserably. As she did her other children, but she wasn't that smart either, just thought she was.
Try not to stress, it isn't your fault. He will learn. He has 15 yrs of being this way.
I love you both for all you are doing.
Mom
My Dear, I am no expert but let me offer some insights. I am sure he is angry which then requires therapy.If it's his attitude towards his school work that is bad then therapy would do good. If he struggles due to having trouble learning maybe ask for an IEP? Just suggestions since I do not know him or his case.
I know that God would not have given him to you guys if you could not handle him. You can do this.
Lots of luv from CT.
Jessica
well, if anyone can help him, its you and Jim. we struggle with Duck on so many issues, and hes a pretty normal teenager (jimmie called the other day and asked if he could just kill himself now, or what). With a child that has extra challenges, well, its not any fun but its so rewarding when you start to see the turn around. i have seen it with so many foster children... the only way you can fail, honestly, is to give up because even when you arent "getting through" you are doing more for him than any one else ever has, and it sinks in slowly. good luck! call if you ever need to just vent, i love bashing the teenagers
lol
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