Sometimes it gets absolutely crazy here, and no matter how hard I try to post it just doesn't happen. And on top of that, there is a lot of negativity and personal attacks that continuously occur so that doesn't make for many positive postings. So what do I do? I keep my head held high, my chest pushed out, and my brain as clear as possible. My boys need me, as a strong woman and Mother. My friends need me safe and unharmed, and I need to know who I am.
Right now I am working really hard through therapy to figure out who "owns" the problem as each one comes at me. I fight to stay positive, and I have dug my heels into my schooling. I am suffering from some really serious stress issues as well as sleep deprivation, but I will make it. I have no choice, my boys need me too.
Chase will be home in four weeks, so I have until then to try to eliminate as much stress from the house as I can. And I wil stand my ground also, because I know what I deserve versus what I don't. And right now, what is happening daily is not what I deserve. I have made some poor choices in my marriage as well, but will no longer tolerate pointing fingers. I know what I have done, and I am in counseling to focus on repairing myself and no one else. I can not make other peoples choices, but I can make my own.
And the choices I make are for myself and my boys. No one else. So until I can get things all together, please don't expect me to make your choices also.
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