Cheating and Society in general..

Today I was chatting with a couple of the Moms at parent pick up and it got me thinking about some stuff. Also, it reminded me of a few conversations here and there. And some blogs along the way. So all this will be is a simple blog about how I feel on some of these subjects.

Cheating, web cams and spicing it up on a whole. I don't care what people do in nor sometimes out of their bedrooms. As long as it does not affect children along the way. Whether it be someone elses child or your own. Don't let them know what kind of sexual prowess or depravity you prefer. They are young and should never be exposed to this by their parents or parent's of the child's friend.

That being said, we spoke about web cams and things such as Craigslist. Now oddly enough Jim and I had a conversation about the whole web cam thing not long ago. And having spoken with him I honestly don't see it as cheating now. Why? Because there really is no physical contact. Now it could be construed as cheating if you are *doing it* with the same person over and over. And it definitely is cheating if you decide to meet them in person. Maybe some people just enjoy the voyeurism of this act? Maybe some couples choose to mess around on a web cam while others watch as a safe alternative to having anyone else in their homes? I don't know. I don't judge. I do know that many people have done much worse things in order to spice up their lives. And honestly, that is between them, the spouse and God. Simply put.

How would I react if I found out Jim was messing around on a web cam? Well, am I in the other room? Because if I am in the other room, yes, I would be pissed. Because he could just walk in there and say..Hey... But we have a unique situation where there are thousands of miles between us. And I'm not always able to be on the computer when he is. So if he did something now on the computer? I would be mad, but I would get over it. For a few simple reasons..1) I'm not there to do what needs to be done. 2) I would know that whatever happens on cam would be just that, on cam. I know Jim well enough to know that he wouldn't do anything in the first place. He won't even go to his friends house for a party if there are single girls there. Not because he is worried about my thinking he would cheat, but because he worries about how it would be viewed by Army personnel. The Army has a no tolerance ruling about cheating on your spouse. And he has been in long enough to see what happens to those people who get busted for it. That's enough to keep him in line.

One of the Mother's told me today that I am very lax about the subject and this is what it boils down to..I have been cheated on enough in my lifetime to know that you can worry and do everything in your power to try and stop it from happening. But reality is that if the other person wants it to happen, it will happen no matter what you say or do. So what am I doing with my marriage to assure it doesn't happen? I opened up our communication. Jim knows that he can openly speak to me about anything. He knows that I will not judge him. He also knows that I grew up in the 80's so not much shocks me. I worked in gay clubs. I have seen some amazing things, as well as things I prefer to wipe out of my minds eye. I am really open minded. Hence my no nonsense attitude and my ability to speak my mind whether I offend people or not.

I don't think people are afraid of fantasies and fetishes at all. I think everyone has something that they want to try or secretly do, but don't want society to know. Because that is where we all falter. Society tells us that we are not allowed to be open. We can not speak our minds about most things. We can not be open minded or willing to try new things. Or we are outcasts. I only feel a person should be outcast if they are not allowing their children to be children. I'm sure my mother has had sexual prowess's that I am not aware of. She was stoned in the 60's for goodness sake. There are no Saints in this world. Only sinners. Want proof? Check out Craigslist sometime. You would be amazed at how many married men and women are on there looking for something on the side. How do I know about this site? Aside from watching the news, that is where my ex spouse would actually post ads and meet women from when we were together.

But is this something I will approach and openly chat with my mother about? Probably not. Because she is my mother. And there are some things I prefer not to know about her intimate times. As with my children. I will have the door open when the time comes for me to talk with them. I will always keep that door open. However, some things are best learned on your own without instruction from your parents and society.

So I see the world as a non black and white place. I see the world in multi colors. I see sexuality as something that should be strong within the person who is sharing it. And if it is something I disagree with, I will speak my mind. But only if it is a time or place that will affect my children. And as for other peoples children..it is not my place to share things with them. I will encourage them to talk openly to their parents. But I will never do another parents job for them. And know as well that if your child ever spoke to me about these things, I would make sure you knew it was time to talk to your child. As I would hope other parents would let me know.

And that is what makes the world turn. Individuality.