Sunday, October 21, 2012

Choices...

Sometimes, as a parent, we have to make the difficult choices whether we like it or not. Sometimes we have to say, enough is enough, and walk forward with our heads high. Things have developed where I must make my children safe, and not worry about who it hurts. Wording can be the biggest problem, but clear communication can be the water that washes the salt out of the wound. It ran across my mind today that I was raised to be someone who can stand the the tests of time as they are thrown at me; however, I am also now the person that isn't liked because I can stand up and be bluntly honest. My life has not been simple. I have hurdled obstables that have both been thrown in my path, and obstacles I have created. Those obstacles may have not been intentional, or strongly on purpose, but I climbed those hurdles and I have stood through trials and tribulations that no one else can claim. I have created the spark that burnt many bridges over time, and I have chopped down and prepared the trees that rebuilt those bridges as well. Some obstacles I have tried to fix, but learned that they were lost causes so I chose a different path to follow. Some obstacles hurt me to change the direction on, but I know I need to make those steps happen because it is not just my path I am taking. There are two boys who are watching my direction, making thought processes from what I show them, what I say to them, what they hear around them. I don't shelter my sons, but I will do what I feel is best to protect them. They know right from wrong, but sometimes mistakes are made..pressure is pushed. We are all given different hands at birth, each situation is different. I would like to think that I am compassionate, but I am not the Mother who will teach my children about drugs by taking them into a drug house and saying "check it out." If I know a person has an active drug problem, I won't be around them, nor will my children. However, I will support someone's recovery and hope they are willing to teach my children from thier mistakes. Life is what you make of it. I heard the saying "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade" but sometimes it takes awhile to get all the ingredients into place. Sometimes, you watch the downfall for so long, that you know better than to put your foot in the water because you could get sucked in as well. I would rather sit from the far sidelines and watch everything unravel, than willingly put my family into the undertow.

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