Sunday, May 31, 2009


You have an unusual ability to put your best effort forth at all times..
That was in my fortune cookie this afternoon, but is it true?

Now, I am first going to warn everyone that this blog is written with tears streaming down my face. It is for several reasons. But mostly because my reality that Chase is gone for 9 weeks has hit. As much as he wears and stresses me out, my world is lonely without him. Now without my husband and Chase, it is strange to say the least. I am used to not having Jim here as I knew what I would potentially be getting into when I married him. But not having a spouse with you is very different to say the least versus not having your child. And 8-9 weeks at a stretch is even more difficult. But I have learned how to adapt to the absences.

It has affected Sebastian in a totally different way. He has been running all over this house looking for his brother. I hear him in each room yelling..And when there is no response he runs to another. How do you explain to a toddler that his brother is away for awhile and will be back? I know he does not understand and will he have to adapt as well?

I have not had the urge to answer the phone when it rings. I have not wanted to do anything. I have wanted to sit and just let the tears falls. But even that I can not do correctly at this time of sorrow. I finally forced myself to shower and take Squeaky out to the park to run. It was difficult to be happy knowing my oldest was clear on the other side of the United States. And as I always try to find the positive in things, I reminded myself at least I was not in Germany at this time. There is always something good to remember. Always when you must adapt.

The other thing that has the tears flowing is that I am an Army Wife. After we played at the park a little while, off to the store we went. And then to the take out Chinese place to get some Pork Fried Rice. Nothing fends off depression better for Mommy than Pork Fried Rice with soy sauce. That seems to be my depression food of choice. And then home to a nice little dinner with baby. And then upstairs where I put Sebastian into the bath tub. While he was in the bath I proceeded to tackle Chase's room. I went through the toys, the books. I put all the toys into one bucket, and made sure clothes were all hung up. I took out all the clothes that no longer fit for donation. I stripped the bed and started the laundry to wash the sheets and blankets. I took all the posters, stars and planets down. I put all the nails and tacks into a container. I took the curtain and rod down and put the screws into a Ziploc baggy. And then duct taped the baggy to the pole. I stripped the room down so things will be easier for the movers. And I cried knowing I would need to adapt again.

Now, I know these things happen every 3 to 4 years as an Army Wife. But I also know that it never gets any easier at all. As much as I hate this area, I love my friends that I have grown so close too. I will miss them coming over to visit. I will miss their children. I will miss their hugs. I will miss their encouragement. I will miss their faces and smiles. Most of all, I will miss their love more than anything in this world. While I am terribly excited about buying a house and having my family complete losing these wonderful people is hurting almost as much as Chase being gone. But I will adapt to their absence.

I know that as an Army Wife I am looked at as many things. Strength. Honesty. Integrity. But there are days I just want to throw my arms in the air and scream that I am NOT AS STRONG as everyone thinks that I am! I am tough as nails because I have taken life's lessons and adapted.

I am ready to wipe my tears away. I am ready to move forward into my new life.

I will adapt.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Too many hands in the pot..

That's how I am starting to feel about this whole situation with Sammy. I understand there are a lot of people involved, but what it ultimately boils down to is how Jim, the caseworker and myself feel about the situation. We all know Sammy's father won't take him. He's as bad as Amory is but worse on several different levels. And after the case worker talks to him, that is if she even finds him..Sammy will be planted firmly in my home.

On a few other notes I am totally glad I went out of the way to get a baby security lock to protect the Wii system and all the games. This thing looks like a pretzel and has zip ties that wrap through the handles of the doors. Yes. And it's so complicated I can't seem to get into it. But Squeaky made it in withing 30 seconds of playing with it this afternoon. Argh is all I can say. Now I need to find a different way to lock those stupid doors.

I took Chase and Squeaky down to George's this afternoon for dinner. And I'll tell you what. I love and will miss that little restaurant and the people who work there. Holly who is the main waitress had tears in her eyes when we left. She is good people, let me tell you. I will definitely visit there again next time we are in Connecticut.

And as for the house, it passed inspection! There are a few things that are cosmetic that Barbara wants changed right away. The biggest thing she was adamant about was replacing the water heater. It was due as the one in the house is over 20 years old. And the VA inspector told the owner he needed to build a platform underneath it in the garage that is at least 18 inches high since we will be using the garage for an actual garage. Other than that she said it was little things like fixing some of the siding. She also was pleasant enough to tell me a couple of really cool places I could take the kids when we got here to eat and what not. She even told me a few places to play bingo..YAY! I told her we would have to go!

OK, for right now I am going to go and cuddle with Chase. He has a sleep over tomorrow night and I'm sure his macho young self doesn't want Mom all cuddly with him then!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Sammy update...

Good morning!

Just a little update to let everyone know. I now have my contact person in Kansas. Unfortunately we can't do the home study or backgrounds checks until we are physically in Kansas. However depending on who has custody of Sammy right now is how fast this process will move. Let's hope it is either Rob or the State of Wisconsin. Because honestly speaking I think Amory will fight Sammy being placed in my home. We have not spoken now in almost 15 or more years with the exception of Bingo one time for my Mother's sake. And that was strained to say the least. I think everyone was uncomfortable there.

To my knowledge at this time Amory has been deemed incompetent through the County she is living in. Sammy was upset because he did not hear from her for quite a few days. They did eventually find her as she was transferred to another city and a different nursing home. I could not imagine my life with all my rights and my children stripped from me. And I won't say anything negative as I know some of her children will be reading this. I am just sorry that those children are even having to deal with this. And also, thanks to complete strangers like Rebecca, Liz and Rob..there was some length of stability for them. Thanks guys! You are living proof that there are truly awesome people in this world still.

So as I sit here writing this blog, Sammy's case worker is contacting Amory's case worker to see who has custody. This way we can figure out who, what, where and when. I have impressed upon her that Sammy is out of school in Wisconsin on June 9Th *my younger sisters birthday* and that he would start school in Kansas on August 11Th. Far be it for me to push the State to do something rather quickly but I really have this urge to give this young man some resemblance of stability. I spoke to him on the phone yesterday and asked him how I would find a can of *camouflage colored* paint. He chuckled and said that was pretty funny. So I suggested that when we picked him up that we all go and pick out the colors for his bedroom. And that he could help me with painting his room and getting it decorated. I heard a certain lightness in his voice. Almost a sigh of relief.

One of the things I was most adamant about was making sure the State stay involved in Sammy's care. I have heard a few things here and there that suggests to myself he is really going to need a lot of counseling. I also shared with the caseworker that at no time what so ever would I want him taken out of our home at all with the exception of his physically hurting one of the other children with intention. And I am honestly not worried in the slightest about that. He is slowly warming up to myself and sounds like such a sweet little guy.

My reasoning with his not being pulled is that is a trick of his Mother's. I watched her do it for years and years with Tony. When she was tired of him she would leave him with my Mother. And when the State wanted proof she had him for her welfare *poof* she would show up and just take him. I remember Tony would wear layers of clothes for years because he never knew when she would just show up. Eighty degree weather and he had 3 layers of pants on.

I will also say that i am proud of Cody. He is my other Nephew who has turned 18 recently. And thanks to the love and support of Liz *HUGS* he will be graduating High School this Friday. Way To Go Cody! You Rock!! With everything that young man has been through because of Amory, this was a huge accomplishment! Congratulations!

OK, it is time for me to head off into the other room and tickle the baby! I'll write more soon!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Chase's meltdown...

So yesterday Chase found out that his father's girlfriend had her baby. And he had a huge meltdown about it. There are several reasons behind this event. The biggest one is the fact that he hasn't spoken to Chase in over 3 weeks almost. And the girlfriend had her baby on the 18Th from what I gathered. Now his anger boiled on this because Chase feels his father should have called and let him know that she gave birth. Mom..I live there too. That was what he said. And I agree. This is a big even that impacts his life and his visitations with his father. So he should have called and told Chase that it had happened.

Now more of this anger is posted towards his father regarding the lack of communications. After he was done throwing stuff around last night I had a long talk with him. A serious and deep talk. I made sure he knew it was OK to be angry with people you love. But that you need to stand up for yourself and tell the person or people why you are angry. His anger at this time is the fact that his father spends all this time with the girlfriend and her kids, but can not take 10 minutes out of his week to call him. I am his only child Mom. He should be going out of his way for me, not them. And again, I agree with him. He really should take the time to drop a card or letter in the mail. Or to send a small goody package. Or if he sees a shirt or something get it for him. And send it to him. Make him feel appreciated. Make him feel loved. Because right now he thinks his father does not love him at all.

He feels as though his father is only interested in having a family with the girlfriend and her kids. And that he is completely an outsider. And that is sad because that is how his father felt about his own father. Seriously. He wanted to break that rut when we had split up and he put Chase and himself right into it. And sadly, I am not even going to lift a finger anymore to try and fix it because it is not my rut to fill in.

I will continue to make sure that Chase knows he is number one in our household. And that he is loved more than life itself here. And I know I am doing a damn good job when he gets up and loves his little brother the same way. I see the love for myself in his face when he smiles at me.

Honestly though, someone needs to get off his ass and start either being a father..or just stop so Chase can move on. Because all that has been happening is a constant confusion for Chase. He thinks he is loved until he spends time visiting out there, and then he feels like a nuisance. Then he will come back to me and cry. My son cries after his visits with his father. Because he knows that his father only takes his visits because he is required to. It is sad that a 9 year old feels that way. And it is even worse that a 34 year old man can't see past his own nose to see how badly he is hurting his son. His only son.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Time for reflection..

Today I started out with about a dozen calls to Kansas. Now I should know better as it is a holiday weekend but I did manage to track down the number to a lady that I will need on Tuesday. We are going to work it so that we can be Relative Foster Parents for my Nephew. This will work out in such a way that the State of Kansas will be involved with Sammy's care and we will have them available for things that will arise.

And this boy is going to need some serious help right off the bat. First thing I will have to do is get him into counseling. For whatever crazy reason his mother has told him growing up that his older siblings were adopted. Adopted by who? I don't understand the reasoning for lying to him that way with the exception that she was trying to hide the fact that they were taken away from her by the various States she lived in. I worry about having to be the one who breaks in the truth to him. I really do. But then in the same breath I feel fine with it because I know I am strong enough to help Sammy make it through all this.

The other thing that makes me comfortable with all this is that I know I will have a strong family support for this. My husband and I have spoken at length regarding Sammy joining our family. He has shared with me his nervousness and excitement. So there will be more to come with all of this. I'll add more in a little bit..I need to answer the phone...

OK, I'm back for a moment. The very next thing I am planning to do is have his medication re-evaluated. This child is 14 years old, weighs a total of 108 pounds and is taking 54 Mgs of Concerta. That is well over the dosage for an adult weighing in at 240 pounds. Goodness. And they wonder why he acts out a bit. Then, he has a secondary medication to assist him to sleep at night. Clonidine. And again it is an adult dosage for a whither of a boy. I'd like to get ahold of his Dr. and have a talk with him. I also need to try and get copies of his medical records. That's going to be fun. I have heard that he has Cerebral Palsy but I have seen no documentation so this will be quite interesting. OK, more to write later.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


Today was a crazy day and oddly I didn't manage to get off the couch. I have been on the computer researching houses. And checking out this, and that. And working on the pictures from our trip. I was even on the phone with a few people regarding getting my Nephew into our house. My older sister is in a position where her health is failing so she is not able to take care of her 14 year old son. It was sad tonight talking to him on the phone because he is really very overwhelmed with everything that is going on. He has no idea where he will be tomorrow. He is under the impression because of what his Mother has told him that his two older brothers and sister are all adopted. He is going to have a rough transition with everything. And it falls on my families shoulders to assist him to learn the truth about everything. Which we will do.

But on a lighter note we put a bid on another house. Third time is a charm. He counter offered but it was an awesome one, so we accepted! And even for the price we accepted our mortgage will still be under what we pay for rent here!

So more to come tomorrow!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Yay! We're home!

On Monday we spent the entire day walking around Niagara Falls, New York! It was GORGEOUS! The weather was just right. The water was not too cold. The touristy stuff was not over crowded. Everything was great. Even the campsite at the cabin was relaxed and beautiful. Nothing like some good old Smores with your kiddos to put life into perspective.

Tuesday we headed over to the Canadian Side..Niagara Falls Canada. It was beautiful as well! Between the two days I took over 250 pictures which I am slowly weeding through as we speak. I'll get those all edited and posted as soon as I can.

Things are moving along with our PCS. We didn't get the house we put a bid on as the first bidders pulled the money out of no where. Sucks. But there are more houses that Jim and I are looking at. And when it is meant to be we will become Super Home Owners!

A little change in plans though right now. Some things have happened on my older sister's side so Jim and I may be taking in my teenage Nephew for awhile or maybe even permanently. We shall see as I am waiting on a call back from the case worker. More to come on that.

OK, it's late and I'm really tired. Just having a hard time sleeping.


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Tragedy and Wolverine..

Yesterday was a tough one. I had a huge date planned with Chase. We spent most of the day preparing for our trip to Niagara Falls. Laundry, packing. Getting things from the basement we needed. Packing sleeping bags and pillows. Got our hot dogs and chips. And then on the way from the store my phone rang. Mom calling on a Sunday. That can't be a good call. So I nervously answered the phone. And what I heard was really not what I was expecting.

My 16 year old cousin Jordan Murphy passed away. I was expecting her to say car accident or something that a teenager would die from. Nope. His heart gave out. His father Danny had died at a young age as well. He had heart problems and had a pacemaker put it. So it was tough on Debbie and the rest of the family when he passed away. So as time moves along, the oldest son is fine. His heart works well. And he is extremely intelligent also. But then Jordan started having a few murmurs here and there. Last year he had a pacemaker put in as well. And then yesterday he slipped away from the world forever.

Now, I haven't had my cry on this yet. I am again not terribly close at all with Jordan and his family. But I am more upset that Debbie has lost not only her husband, but now her child. No woman should ever out live her child. Ever. And what really upsets me the most is this boy never even had the opportunity to get out and live. He never got to experience love. Or travel to exotic places. Or see the birth of his own child. Now, I know there is always a reason for things. This time I don't understand the reasoning.

But I chose to choke it down and make sure Chase had a great date with Mom. We took Squeaky over to Mom Kelley's house where he spent time with Grandma and Grandpa. And then Chase and I headed to the movies. And in to see Wolverine. Now don't laugh when I mention that this is a really small theatre. But I will tell you there aside from Chase and I, there were only 4 other people. Two of them came in right after we did. And then about 5 minutes into the movie 2 more came in. Now, these two sat across the aisle and behind us about four rows. And I will tell you right now that they annoyed the hell out of me. So much so that Chase even said something.

For about the first 15 minutes of the movie you could actually HEAR them chewing their popcorn. And I don't mean the sound that you hear when you put the popcorn in your mouth. I am talking the sound a cow makes when chewing his cud. SERIOUSLY! But I kept my mouth quiet. And they talked, but not at whisper level like you would think in all common sense would happen in a theatre. No. Full voice. COME ON PEOPLE! It was about 20 minutes into the movie and they were discussing what was happening on the screen when Chase says..Mom..I can't hear. So I turned and said *SHHHHH..please.* VERY Loud SHHHH with a VERY quiet Please. And they did. After they gave their dirty looks, the shushed. I tell you, I had a whole lecture ready in my head had they mouthed off. But they didn't so I was happy. Because I really do not like confrontations in front of my children.

But we watched the movie in silence and I might add it was AWESOME! I have heard mixed reviews about it but Chase and I loved it to death! Definitely a buy able movie! And I am eager for the new Transformers and oddly enough Terminator as well to come out.

But for now I need to get going because my Husband is on the phone!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Mom has free time?

Last night my friend Rachel stayed overnight. She is having a tough time making some decisions regarding the relationship between her boyfriend and herself. It's strange, but she stayed the night last night because he said stated that maybe if she left for the night their relationship would be better. And we talked quite a bit. I will firmly say that if a man treated me the way he treats size eight and a half would firmly be planted in his ass. No one should ever let anyone treat them like that. Enough said on that.

Now, I will say it was nice having her overnight. She not only cleaned up after herself but she watched the baby really quick while I ran over to the Post Office. I had to overnight the *earnest money* check and the check for the inspections. Now, to clarify..We do not have the house at this time. We are still a little over a week away before the other people forfeit on their end of the contract. But for safety, Barbara is getting everything in order so we can get it all moving along if and when they do. I love the fact that we have someone just like myself handling all the paperwork and what nots. Anal retentive is not always a bad thing.

While I was off at the Post Office she not only did the dishes from breakfast *and they were clean the way I like them*, but she also swept and mopped the floor. I loved it! It freed up some time in my afternoon. And let me tell you, I'm glad she did! One more thing I should throw into this one sided conversation is that after Squeaky and I dropped off Chase at school we headed off to vacuum the car out. I can not keep the car clean here in Connecticut to save my damn life. It's so dusty and dirty here! UGH! Anyhow, I set up Squeaky's playpen and put him with a ton of toys right in front of the car. He played peacefully while I vacuumed the hell out of the car. Meanwhile over head the clouds were starting to form. Darkly I might add! So we hurried up, got that done. Hooked the car seat back in, put midget in the car. Put away the playpen and in we went to get the outside of the car washed. Now, the big giant blue sponge strip things that spin in circles and come down on top of the car..Yeah. Squeaky did not like that in the slightest!

It started to spin and you heard the little *thumpa thumpa* as it started hitting the front end of the car. And as it moved up the hood..The noise got louder and louder..Until it was on the roof..THUMPA THUMPA THUMPA..I turned and looked at Squeaky only to see a total look of fear on his face! He was bawling before we made it out of there..And that would be when I noticed the smell. I think that the THUMPA scared the kid so bad he shit himself. Poor thing!

But we made it home..and I made a few phone calls. Which I will detail more on tomorrow because it is now time for the Season Finale of Bone's and Grey's Anatomy!


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

American Idol...

Pleh. Today was mellow. I couldn't get my ass motivated to save my own life. Trust me. I did manage to get Chase to school on time, but after that it was..Dum dee Dum time. I headed off to Target and found a really cute container to hold my DS and all the little gadgets that it has. I grabbed a really cute little craft container that clicks together on four different levels. I found it in the sewing section oddly enough. But my DS fits in it. And there's a level for the games. And a level for the car charger, ear buds and extra stylus's. And an extra level for more games as we build them up. It will work fantastic for the many little road trips we have planned this next few months.

I received the confirmation in my email late last night. He is coming out to pick up Chase on May 30TH. I shared that with Chase and he actually started to cry this morning. He really doesn't want to go out to Oregon, but unless there is a strong reason I can not stop it from happening. I have my suspicions of what is going on, but I have no proof right now. But when Chase does finally open up and say he is not wanting to go out there I will stand beside him in court. And I will fight for my son's rights.

We will see what happens. I did manage to get all the utilities set up to be shut off. So everything will be turned off by the 16Th of June. And the movers will be done the same day. I'm eager to find out if we are going to be moving into our own house though. Yes. That would be a wonderful day to find out that we won't ever be paying rent again. That would be so nice. And the sad part is that we would be paying almost $250 less a month for our mortgage than what we pay in rent here in Connecticut. I will say with all the research I have done that I am amazed there are not more homeless people here. The rent is atrocious. The mortgages are HUGE and the houses are just tiny. I meant $1700 a month mortgage for a house that is not even 1100 square feet. Yikes! Yes, this is actually someone I know that is putting out that much money for that little of a place.

But right now I am going to get off here so I can watch this American Idol.


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The biggest loser and life...

So I sit and watch the Biggest Loser. And I wonder. How it would feel to be that obese? Not that I would go and gorge myself in order to get there. I guess I have been blessed with my fat. I know, strange thing for someone to say. But I have been. A close friend of mine once said that I was lucky because my fat made me look like a woman, where her fat just made her look fat.

I recently did a weight loss challenge through Herbalife. It was an eye opener that I could really lose the weight. When I started it I was 210 lbs. When the challenge was over I was 191 lbs. Now I stopped drinking the shakes after the challenge was over, but I am teaching myself how to eat better. I gained 3 pounds back. But that's it and I'm happy with that. I also should throw in that I am a really stressed out Mother right now.

With Chasers getting ready to leave for summer vacation, my Husband coming home finally, us moving, our buying a house. And there's so much more than what I am typing. I am starting to research all my college options, and Chase's schooling options. So much to do.

I think right now though I am going to turn off my mind and try to rest.

Monday, May 11, 2009

A busy day for the Post Office

Wow. Today was crazy busy! First off, I should share with everyone that not all candle glass is sturdy like Yankee Candle. I found out first hand this morning when I burnt the hell out of my table. Yes, the new table that I adore sooo much and just had to have. Now the good news is that according to the place I bought it I should be able to have it repaired. The bad news is that it will have to wait until I get to Kansas. So until then I will have to find one of those ugly doily things to cover it. I guess I'm OK in that aspect because I was smart enough to burn the candle in the middle of the table. I know, WTG.

Then I got home and immediately started talking to the realtor Barbara. We emailed back and forth between my chores while Squeaky slept. She has the best sense of humor, let me tell you! We went over the paperwork, did all the contractual stuff and made sure everything was ready in case the other couple fell on their face. I also called and spoke with the our finance gal Heather to get a little more information on insurances. I'm still a little unsure about a couple of things but I'll call Barbara in the morning and talk to her.

I had to run out really fast to check the mail, where I was pleased to find the Hatchling in there. My baby dragon arrived finally! YAY!! In case some of you don't know, I collect Pena Dragons. They are by Windstone Editions and are awesome! Google it sometime and check out the dragon collection. My color is Peacock/Emerald.

So once I got home the UPS guy showed up a few minutes later. My Mother's Day present arrived, well at least half of it did! Jim ordered a Nintendo DS bundle package and the two games arrived through UPS. Now this is the funny part: The actual DS and 8 in 1 starter package arrived 45 minutes later via Fed Ex. One order through and two different delivery methods. I know, can we say STUPID!!

And then, as if that wasn't bad enough..20 minutes later the Mail Man showed up with a huge box for me! It was my computer home from Dave who so awesomely fixed it for me! And guess what I am happily blogging on while I lie in my bed!?!? Yes, I know you don't want the visual of myself in my bed typing with a smile..But here I am!!! YAY!!!

And now, it is time to watch House! So off I go!!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day, Moving and House Hunting...

So today is Mother's Day. I got to sleep in until the ripe minute of 0630!! YAY!! Yes, there is a little sarcasm in it. Honey, when you read this..Next Mother's Day I would like to at least stay in bed until about noon? OK..I'll get up about 0930 to go pee..but don't expect much! And I want coffee in bed..And the special breakfast you like to make us all! I'm not too

On a different note..We have been house hunting in Leavenworth Kansas. As some of you know we are going to be stationed there. Jim flies to Connecticut on June 15Th, our HHG's are picked up on the 16Th, and we start driving to Kansas via a touring route on the 18Th. And hopefully by the time we get there a new house all our own will be waiting. Which I am really eager about.

We went through a trial an error stage but have found a very honest and straight to the point realtor named Barbara Hancock. If you want her number, let me know. This woman is beyond awesome! And oddly enough she became the realtor for us on accident. But so far, she has gone above and beyond in my personal opinion. As a first time home buyer I am sure that I have annoyed the living crap out of her. But she is patient and answers all of my questions. And Jim's questions. I'm sure it can not be easy to get emails from two different people. But she does, and she deals with it. I am almost positive she will do a Mexican Hat Dance when she finally sells us a house.

But, to be honest..we did put a bid on a house. We had found a beautiful 4 bedroom 2 bath split level ranch. It had a full basement that had been redone into a family room with the 4Th bedroom. It was on a pretty good size corner lot but the back yard sloped downward. One car attached garage. It was about 1800 Sq Ft with ceiling fans through out. They were asking 115,000 for it. So we offered 105,000. Oh, it also had a sun room that Jim didn't like the looks of, and a ghost in the third bedroom. Jim said it was a smudge on the camera lens..*wink*

So we offered 105,000. He countered with a meet in the middle of 110,000. Jim and I said..110 and you provide the stove and refrigerator. He said he could not afford that. And sadly we had to not accept the offer.

Now I know it is crazy to put a bid on a house that we have never seen. But there's a few things that make us comfortable with this. The first is that Barbara has been doing this for almost 10 years, and she knows what the VA will and won't accept. That is comforting to know. So as long as the VA accepts the house *and they have very stringent rules*, we know it is sound. Also, there are warranties and what not in place when you purchase a house. So knowing that, if anything major went wrong along the road in the first year, we wouldn't be paying a ton of money to fix it. And lastly, there is so much information available online. We can research and look at different websites to find everything from appraisal values to future and past taxes. Pictures galore! Even videos of tours in each of the houses.

One thing that Jim showed me was the maps on If you have never messed with the satellite map on google, you have missed out. It's sooooo much fun!! But it allows us to really check out the neighborhood, the schools, the area in general. And to top it all off, with the prices of some of these houses if we don't like something in it we can just change it along the way.

So as things progress we shall let you all know what we decide on.

Right now, I'm going to go watch cartoons with Chase while the baby naps.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

To Cell or Not To Cell..

That is the question.

I had posted a comment on my MySpace about whether or not I should get Chase a cell phone of his own. Now there are some things that have arisen in the wake of this decision so I will write them out to help Jim and I decide whether we should get Chase a phone of his own.

As some of you are aware, Chase will be leaving May 30Th to go do his visitation at this father's house. He is not happy about it because now there will be four other children in the house. Chase's father's girlfriend is expecting a baby any day now. Not by Chase's father so everyone is aware. This baby is either the product of her husband or someone else she was sleeping with at the time. He knows his father will be spending more time taking care of that baby than he will be taking care of him. And that really bothers Chase. Sadly, I had to explain to Chase tonight there is nothing I can do. That all he can really do is step up and share his feelings with his father. Anyhow, moving on.

While Chase is visiting with his father he has very limited access to a phone according to him. Or whenever Chase wants to call me his father either won't let him or says there is no time as they need to go do something. Now this is what Chase tells me, so I don't know if it is true or not. But I would honestly lean towards what he says over his father.

Either way I really just want a way that I can talk to my son without having to deal with his father or the girlfriend. That's how I am feeling about it.

On to other news. Things are in transition for the move. I received our email for the movers today. They will be here on the 16th to pack us up. I have our motel reserved for the 3 days we will be here visiting until our drive. I have the list of stuff we need to pack into the car for our trip. I have called about getting my medical records, the dental records for Chase and I, and already have my OB records. Still waiting on records from the school and both the boys medical records.

Working on getting things ready for Chase to go to Oregon. I also found out that when we get to Kansas Jim will be heading to North Carolina for a little over a month for schooling. So I will be flying to pick up Chase in Oregon during Thanksgiving with the baby ALONE again. But I'm a big girl, so I can handle it.

Nice thing about our transition to Kansas is that we are working on buying a house when we get there. Our own house. One for just us. No more paying someone else's mortgage. It will be great. Something I can paint and know I won't ever have to change it. YAY!!

Ok, I need to get upstairs and get some sleep. I have been staving off a headache all day.

Friday, May 1, 2009

It's the title...

Literally. It's the title to my car in Oregon. It is paid off in full, and the title is in our hands. How good that feels!! Time sure flies when you are really busy..with life. Life keeps you on your toes, that's for sure.

A few days ago Chase got a little note card in the mail. It took me a second to think of who it was as they mailed it from another part of Connecticut. While we were figuring out how to get home from Kennedy Airport in NY my wonderful little boy found a really nice luggage tag next to the luggage terminal. I told him to throw it away but he persisted that we should send it to him. So I made it his challenge to see if they would respond. He picked out a little *hi there* card at the Dollar Tree, addressed it himself with the names on the tag and then wrote a little something in the card. I took him to the post office where he paid for the postage out of his allowance and into the mail it went. And wouldn't you know..He got a little card in the mail that said, Thank You Chase, You are a really good boy for doing this! That made him so proud, but what made him more excited was the dollar bill tucked inside the card! He quickly put the money in his piggy bank and walked around with a smile on his face for the rest of the day.

Nothing more to report right now with the exception that we are looking seriously at houses over there in Kansas. Much to some people's dismay that is. But we are looking and have found some wonderful homes. I think we may have even found a settler. But we shall see, and I will keep you all updated.

And as for the earlier blog I wrote about my friend..I have not heard a word from her. I am unsure if she has read the blog or not. But she has not texted, called, messaged or even emailed for over a week now. Maybe she is going through the throws of anger? Maybe she doesn't even know I wrote it. I don't know, but I'm not going to worry myself over it as I have enough on my plate right now.

Tomorrow? Clean my house. I've been lax in that lately. The dust bunnies are proud of me.