Tuesday, April 28, 2009

What did you say?!!?

So this little blog is just going to be a blowing off steam type of blog. Earlier today I was talking with someone I consider my best friend. I love her to death but she really just throws me for loops to the point I just want to lash out at her. So this will be my way of lashing out and getting it all off my chest.

Now first I must say I am not perfect. Not in a million years would I ever say that I am. But for all my imperfections I learned to be stronger, more open minded to the world and to never let fear stop me from moving forward. My imperfections have helped me travel across the US and even into different countries. I have loved, I have lost. I have hurt, I have healed. I have hurt others, and swallowed my pride years later to apologize. I have taught myself to never hold back, and to be expressive of everything. And to be honest first and foremost. Even if I know it will hurt someone, I speak my mind.

Now having said that, I have been sparing this person the reality she chooses not to see. Or if she does see it, ignorance is bliss. She is a big girl but she is attractive. She is naive. She has a tough time with social situations. One night we can go out and she is a blast, and poof..that very next night she *pouts* (for lack of better words) to the point that everyone around her is uncomfortable and has no fun. She is judgemental of people but gets upset when someone groups her in just as she does others.

She is everything she complains about in other people, yet she gets offended if it is pointed out. Wake up call sunshine! There is a reason you have been single now for over 8 years *to my knowledge*! You want this huge level of perfection in a man that you can not even obtain in yourself. And I love you, but come on! You have had your walls up so high for so long that it is easier for you to hide behind them than to climb them yourself. And I can tell you right now that if you expect a man to climb those walls, you better either build a stair case or start showing them that you are worth the exercise! Men want to climb Mount Everest because of the excitement and the never knowing of what is behind the next rock. They would rather do that than cross the desert on foot and get bit by scorpions.

And again, don't tell men you are one type of person when you really are not. Because if they stick around through the mood swings, the lack of time in your schedule and the constant phone calls and texts you will eventually have to open up and show your true colors.

Men want strong women, not insecurity. And you can not offer them love if you do not love yourself. And that I can say after 15 years of friendship. Learn to love yourself and be real to you before you try to be someone else. Because loving yourself, not being afraid to venture out into the world and standing strong with who you are is what turns men on.

So eventually you will read this, and you will be pissed off. And that is fine with me. But open your eyes sunshine and learn from my mistakes. You have seen me make so many of them, and maybe that is why you are so closed off? But you have seen me fall to the ground in misery and yet I always pick myself back up and move forward. And always for the better. Now it is your turn to get going in your life because honestly..You are not getting any younger at all.

So remember the the words to the Nickelback song we listened to on our drive and live from them. Start to live for you..

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try
So live like you’ll never live it twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin’ stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It sounds as though your good friendship towards here and honesty might give her the boost she needs. She may get mad at you but a good friend will fall hard, get back up and keep trucking.

Anonymous said...

Yep you said it girl. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and i have made mine. True friends are honest with each other. They know each other and should be able to take what they dish out. She eventually will find someone to put up with her. Just let it be and go on with your life. Love you, Mom

Sean said...

Jamie, she is right. I know it may be hard for you to accept the truth but deep down you know Arica is right.

Hell if Tiny can find someone I know you can. You just need to change your attitude and pickyness!