Amazement...

Recently I wrote a blog regarding Role Models. The person it was about was correct in stating I meant no harmful intentions with it. So with this, I wanted to post an apology regarding making them feel I was stating they were lazy. That was not at all what I meant. What I did mean was that some of the students are falling way behind for various reasoning's and maybe the extra time could be utilized to get them up to speed more. I know I personally can not afford to pay for extra lessons or I would be all over it. But with the continuing struggle of getting the correct medication adjustment for my oldest, he is falling behind as well. Not to mention dealing with a small variety of other issues such as my husband being deployed and a pretty much useless biological father. *It has been 17 days from this post since his father has called him.*

He is getting to a point with his Karate where he is getting discouraged because he can not concentrate and wants to leave the program. Which is truly sad because he started out so strongly and really does have a natural talent inside him. And I do work with him at home but can only do so much when I don't know the steps myself to make sure he is doing it correctly. I do attend every class and watch but the predominance of the time I am unable to see what he is doing because he is training at the far back of the classroom. So maybe he and a few of the other students can be saved?

Now MySpace and the blogs. This is what I do not understand. People write blogs for therapy. To get thoughts out. To share ideas. To share moments in life. To just write simply for killing time purposes. But do they really stop and look at what they are writing? It is true I do not know the lives of some of the people I read blogs on outside of what they write. And to be frankly honest I would enjoy getting to know some of these people. Everyone has a story in them. Everyone has something positive to share with society, but not all people know how to portray that gift. Most people are not even aware of the impact they have on others. Having stated that, when I read the many, many blogs this person had written there was a lot of things within these blogs that could easily have been misconstrued as extremely negative issues. And I can say that I am most definitely not the only person who may have ever read and thought what I did.

When I write it is to share openly my thoughts, feelings and life with the people who read this. I have nothing to hide. I have a really good life right now, but I won't lie when I say that it has not always been this way. I have learned many things over time, and my biggest lesson is that I am responsible for myself and my children only in this world. And because of this, I keep my eyes wide open. If I have tripped up, said or done something stupid, I address it right away now. It was not always that way. People who have known me for a very long time are nodding their heads at this moment saying Yes Indeed. But I am cautious as to what I write and share because I know I have several friends children on my MySpace page who are still at a very impressionable age. The very, very last thing I ever want to hear from one of my beloved friends is *Well, he/she learned that from your page*. I would fall apart should someone get hurt because of my negative actions.

So I may not write a lot on my blog, but when I do it is because something has deeply affected me and I need to get it out and let it be dealt with. Good or bad, it is reality. But I keep it in the back of my mind that whatever I write here is what others will read. And they will all have a different perception of what I am stating. And each person's opinion is their own. And gladly welcomed. I make take offense at what others will say, but it will be thought about and either accepted or disregarded. I will either learn from it or just move along.

But know that it will be read and acknowledged by myself. And all others who may read it. and if you don't want it to be read and judged, set it to private.