Role Models

I never stopped until today to really look at what kind of a role model I am to my children. And then it hit me square in the face when I was reading several of my friends blogs about how drunk they were, how many birthday's they celebrated, how broke they are, how their lives completely sucked ass. And I realized, these are people that my oldest son looks up to.

I have always been extremely cautious about who I have let around my oldest son. He has had a really rough road regarding the male role models in his life. When his father and I split up, I really tried hard to make sure he had that bond with him. But his father has, and continues to fail to be a very positive role model to his son. He calls when it is convenient, he calls when he does not have a girlfriend or someone he is trying to impress, or when he knows I would be unable to answer the phone because our son is in class or school. So he calls about every 8 to 10 weeks. And I hate it, but I can not do anything about it.

I had a few gentlemen I dated after he and I split. One never met my son, the other one did and hurt his feelings really badly. So I became extremely guarded against allowing people around him after that. And then I met Jim. Jim is an excellent Role Model with the exception of being deployed. He calls weekly and talks to him. He sends emails, cards..reminds him that he is loved. And my son knows this.

But there are the outside role models. I chose to enter my son into Karate because of all the fantastic advantages that would be available to him. And he did terrific in the beginning. But he is noticing there are certain students that are favorites. He knows which instructors he can turn to for extra help. But he notices attitudes the most. And I as his Mother can see what he is seeing. But I see it in a different light.

I see the blogs, I see the comments. I see the wish for change, but not the actions. I see the constant boredom, but not the positive use of the spare time. I see the reaching out for attention, but the negative actions that happen instead.
You want that change, you need to make it. But you can not make it halfway. You need to step up and make it all the way. I am in no way perfect, but I have been where you are now. And I have worked hard to be out of that rut myself. And I work hard everyday to stay out of it, because I need to be a strong role model for my children. And you should be a strong role model yourself, because other people's children look up to you constantly. Young ones, teen ones, even adults look to you for guidance.

Look around at the people who look up to you. And know there are parents who see you as well. But parent's are more critical than the children. You can do no wrong in their eyes, but we see the cracks and flaws. We see the inconsistencies. We see the continuous drunken nights at the bar and the complaints of the hangovers. But no work? And the arguments of boredom?

Take those children who are around you and mold them. Guide them. Take all this free time you have and bring those troubled students up from where they are. Lead them out of the goodness of your heart and the compelling want to see them succeed. Motivate them to move up higher in the world and the ranks.

Give them a strong and impressive role model so they can be role models themselves.