Ugh. More snow.

Yes. More snow. More than I really care to deal with. Because I could personally care less about snow. But I am coping.


Good news!! Jim is back in Hohenfels and as we speak he is with Reedy. One of our trusted friends that I think the world of. He's a good guy, as is Country who is the other evil secret sharer that is there. Hehee. They are all going to laugh at that. But he is out of there *Iraq* and I'm happy about it. He had a rough go though when he got to Hohenfels. Apparently they lost the keys to his room in the barracks. And they had to call the MP's to get him in. Now on Monday he has to go get a set of keys for his room. Oh, and to top off the highly pissed off spouse list: I went out of my way to get Jim this awesome Welcome Home Banner to hang as he arrived in Hohenfels..What did his Rear D do? The freaking handed it to him! Am I pissed? Yes I am!!

But something that has been on my mind a lot lately is the term "emotional detachment".

The definitions are as follows:

In the first meaning, it refers to an inability to connect with others on an emotional level, as well as a means of coping with anxiety by avoiding certain situations that trigger it; it is often described as "emotional numbing" or dissociation.

In the second sense, it is a type of mental assertiveness that allows people to maintain their boundaries and psychic integrity when faced with the emotional demands of another person or group of persons..

My reasoning for bringing this up tonight is the simple fact that I have seen many people use this as a crutch. A coping mechanism of sorts. I spoke with several people today who admitted to using this term while in a relationship to help them adjust with certain situations. Some were lied to way to much. Others knew that the relationship was headed nowhere. I personally took note I use it when my husband is about to leave for long periods of time. Because for myself it is easier to be angry at him when he leaves, than it is to just say goodbye. Sad, but true.

I also took note that a lot of my friends shared that it is easier to become emotionally detached with a loved one than with a lover. With a lover there is no reason to be fearful of rejection. You know it is bound to happen eventually. So you allow yourself to be free and open with them. You speak your mind without fear of repercussion. If they leave, oh well. But with a spouse it is harder to be yourself. Because you are fearful you may disgust them in some way. Or you may build a wall without noticing. Which happens very easily if your emotions are not where they should be. I can personally share with you 5 marital instances of other couples who are dealing with this right now.

And because this has happened, divorce seems to be the only alternative. Which is truly sad in itself. Have we become such a society that divorcing and moving right into the next marriage is easier than what our Grandparents did which was to actually work at our marriages? I know I am not perfect. I know I have distanced myself from my husband. But I also know I will work at our marriage until the day I die. My own emotional detachments came from being married to Chase's father. All the things he did and said really put a dent in who I am. But on the flip side, made me who I am. And because of who I am, I found a good man who is worthy of myself. The irony in this is simply my emotional detachments will now be focused towards my ex spouse. Where they need to be.

So now I work on making sure I keep my eyes open. Treat my husband as I would a lover, with no fears. We chose each other, and now we will work to be together. I will notice my emotional detachment issues as they approach and never be afraid to speak my mind. Or show my true self.

Simply because before I married him, he was just a lover in my eyes. No fear.